Tuesday, May 15, 2012

An Irregular Mom

Not that I have forgotten.  I was just too busy delivering bead orders for Moms and Moms at heart on their special day.

On Mother's Day, Owen posted a borrowed photo on my timeline (plus a few other timelines of his virtual friends)   with a note that said..."Because you are not regular Moms, I salute you today. Happy Mother's Day to the cool Moms in my life.".  That was sweet.  So I replied with a screaming "I LOVE iiiiiiTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!". Owen came to my life as a trainee at the height of my Advertising and Promotions career.  To this day, he keeps in touch.

Thanksgiving 2010.  Three months after my medical scare.
After a brief thought, I must say that there is  truth to what Owen  said. For sure, I am not your typical and regular Mom.  There is in fact absolutely nothing that can somehow define  a part of my being as Mom.  First, no child has yet been pushed out from my womb even while on my sixth year of marriage. A situation made not by choice, but out of a medical situation that I have long and will  for the rest of my life deal with.  I used to think of my state as a battle, but not anymore.  I had finally made amends two years ago, only after a scare. 

A Chinese Temple in Cebu, circa-2002.
Don't get me wrong. I, of course, come across what ifs once in awhile.  Nothing is impossible, right? I had once prayed in an unknown territory,  a Chinese Temple, and had questioned two wood blocks if children were part of my life's plan. The blocks landed by my feet with NO for an answer.   I did this thrice.  I was single but semi-attached to J. Bond then, and marriage was yet far  from our minds.   Flashforward to ten years after, adding one more doctor to my list of ten, which I believe will entail added hospital visits and costs, seem no longer a wise choice.  But if there is in any way of skipping the doctor/hospital part, I would by all means go for it. This year by the way marks my  30th year of "friendship with my illness", and my endocrinologist had recently claimed that I am one hell of a survivor.  Hopefully one day, I'd be brave enough to share more details of this part of my life in cyberspace since my illness is much more rampant these days compared to 30 years back.  But not just yet. 

One year old Bugsy, taken last night.
Playing the role of Bugsy's human mother speaks of what an irregular Mom is all about.  I love him to pieces, but he drives me crazy too. A hilarious test of patience on bad days  given that I don't speak his language, nor he does mine.  In fact, barking remains unheard to this day.  Oftentimes,  I bark to teach.  (FORtunately!), not a tiny bit of progress have  manifested yet.  

La Luz 2009
Of course, I've had my share of "temporary" motherhood too, first of which was my Metropoint team.  We did business together, worked on the same goals, and along the way, we had evolved into a close-knit second family.  I was called Mother and I thought of them as kids in adult bodies.  Some  needed guidance, while others excelled. Definitely a team with diverse personalities, but defined by two words,"Noisy! Nuts!"   When pressure and nagging  were practiced, I became their Wicked Stepmother. But even after years of having parted ways, they address me with the same name and have consistently kept in touch despite my frequent absence. All have moved on and have made meaningful marks in their own personal lives ...marriage, kids, careers...and these make me truly proud and happy. In June, my former Ad and Promo girl is set to walk down the aisle.  I look forward.

Our parting photo taken in January 2012
I thought of Generika as one "motherhood roller coaster ride".  In this case, a huge load of emotions and attachments were  part of the 2-year deal.  I saw how each and every member of the team had started, how they grew in time, how joy and pain were managed, and how each one lived. I laughed and cried with them, jumped on  triumphs, scolded disobedience (a lot!), and when the time had come to let go, we all felt the tinge to keep hanging on.  Letting go surely left us pain, but it was  time for us to grow and spread our wings.

I  understand what Owen  meant by his message.  Though I have not initiated any move to clarify, I took upon myself to assume that he had posted such message to friends and relatives who had simply made a significant impact on his life.  In this case, here are my "MOTHERS" who have made life crazily happy. Of course first and foremost my own Mother dearest.  Despite years of living physically apart, my guts say that  I am in some way evolving into my Mother's ways. Clumsy for sure and we both depend on companions to be our lookout or more so pick us up when a fall happens.  She had taught me how to live life independently, yet see life in all possible angles.

Regular Sunday Lunch/Dinner with Tita Cyn
My second Mom and Daddy's only sister, Tita (aunt) Cyn.  Nothing to be alarmed about.  She normally looks this way when we talk about my health, lapsed visits to the doctor(s) and diet. On normal talks, she smiles a lot =)

In a reunion last year
Tita Nene, who untiringly serves as my creative mentor. She had sewn all wedding gowns in the family, including mine and my Mom's.  Now, she occupies her busy days with Flamenco costumes and lightweight bags made from scrap materials on top of her long lived bridal finery.

At Brewed For You on Easter Sunday 2012
And lastly, J. Bond's Mom, Mama Espie. Her strong faith and love has kept everyone well grounded.  I must thank her for having raised J. Bond  well one of these days.

Owen's right.  Those who have made life extra special deserve a hats off as well. In my case, I have my Mom, three others, and I'm sure that there are more. How about you?

Cheers to all regular and irregular Moms out there!!!

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful and inspiring post, Trixie... I know this may be a new reply to an old entry. You may be a regular or an irregular mom, but it all rests on how dedicated and sincere you are in playing the part. So I salute you for being one. God bless. :)


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