Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Wake up call

Fascinated with the word "sensuous"! 
Sonya's Garden, Alfonso, Cavite
I dreamt of Luke last night.  Set in a  familiar mall hallway  while patiently waiting for a few former co-workers to arrive, Luke suddenly appeared in his usual work clothes seemingly sporting a rounder stomach. The growing roundness was my alarming concern prior to his early departure.  In fact, Christmas gifts for Luke had deliberately transformed into unsalted crackers to simply make my point.  I  fed him loads of noodles when I still lived in the city.  I ceased the feeding but he didn't. 

Luke's bag of Shing-A-Ling from Rowena's Tarts. 
In my dream, I shared the same sad and pissed emotions while awake.  And when Luke appeared, a happy yet disgruntled screaming LUKE!!! was all I said.  I remember having stomped my right foot too, a typical act I do when  teased by Luke.  Though I was aware enough even in my dream that he now lives in an entirely different spectrum, I surprisingly ignored. But being the  Luke that he was, he replied with his usual mocking "HE-HE-HE, Tri-kikay!", then walked away.  Yes, he often called me by that name.  He had sabotaged my name by capping it off with a slang word that best describes what a "girly-girl" is all about.   Luke passed away on the day I was en route to Baguio for J. Bond's Globe Cordillera Challenge. He was 43.  We have been friends for close to two decades.

Patti's celebration at Conways
Last Sunday, we celebrated Patti's end of a decade and toasted to a life that begins at "40".  We had fun, but there's no denying of having missed Luke during such special moment.  I'm sure he would have loved to be there and be part of the celebration.  Tears flowed for a short while, but life and the party just had to move on. 

Patti and Luke.  All about F.O.O.D.
In some way, situations happen for a reason. I said the exact same line in a previous post that talked about celebrating 93.  Despite the denial, Luke's departure had somehow triggered me and my friends to review, realize and desensitize our life's routine from the unnecessary.  A friend focuses on stress from work, the other aims for a healthier life, while the other regard friendship more than ever.  Little things, yet significant. I, on the other hand, target to embrace the undeniable concept of age and ageing.

Christmas 2011, Our last hang-out with Luke.  A July 20, 2012 dinner is set and surely Luke will be missed.
I turn on a blind eye when faced with the topic of ageing.  I fear turning 40 as much as I feared 18, 20, and 30.  Shallow yet I am amazed on how a number can define boggling thoughts which then translate into fear.  I am pretty sure that you have thought of age and ageing at some point in your life too.    But in reality, there is nothing to fear and that neither single or double digit number are in no way applicable to defining life. Luke's departure  made me realize that.

Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf
When Luke passed away, I thought of him as too young, in contradiction to my absurd notion of age and ageing.  Yet, he lived a good and jolly life.  I was shook from my deep slumber when that unfortunate day happened, which in reality was a wake up call for having long entertained unnecessary and useless thoughts. At this point, I constrain myself  from entertaining more, and instead look forward to living life.  I look forward to my Travel for Beads Project, to building dreams with J. Bond, to celebrating joyous moments, to exploring and discovering more.  I would have to agree that a life well-lived best defines our being, not age, not ageing. 

And I thank Luke for having led me to realize that.

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